A+ha.

Come gather 'round people wherever you roam...

The 7th graders and their parents got together tonight @ Plymouth UCC to talk about life--specifically how things have changed in the world since the parents were in 7th grade. 

Every year when I teach this class, the kids are surprised (horrified?) to know that their parents only had access to four TV stations, no computer in the house, a telephone that was attached to the wall with a cord that would sooner or later turn into a knotted mess, and had to wear "good clothes" to church (in other words: no jeans allowed). 

Every year when I teach this class, adults are surprised (encouraged?) to remember all of the advantages our kids have, too: kids have access to technology that will allow them to connect with other kids all over the world, and more often then not kids have access to media at home that will allow them access to all kinds of information (when we were kids, we only had a dictionary and an incomplete set of the Encyclopedia Brittanica--and even that was pretty old). Church (or at least Plymouth) is now a place where kids can talk about relationships and stresses and pressures, too--there is a recognition that God is present in and through all of life (not just "church-y things"). People are free to ask questions and enter into conversation here about who God is and what God wants us to do (in other words: the minister doesn't have the only say about all of this). And church is a place where "no matter who you are, no matter where you are on life's journey you are welcome here." Very cool.

Every year when I teach this class, I am reminded (surprised? amazed? incredibly grateful...) that God is here in the midst of it all: in the sharing of our stories, in the highs and lows of life, in our questions, our laughter, our tears, and in our relationships. We are called into relationship to share all of life--and by doing so we are reminded over and over and over again that we belong to one another. We belong to God. 

Every year when I teach this class, I grow further in my knowledge and belief that what we do and say and how we share our time and our talents, our stories and our live, matters. It really matters.

You? A Minister? Huh.

"YOU? A minister? Huh. Wouldn't have guessed it." That's been the most common response to the "what do you do for a living" question that I hear when introducing myself in workshops, classes or at a convention. As I've spent a lot of time in workshops, classes and conventions this year (a LOT of time), I'd guess that I've heard this response at least...oh, say...a few hundred times. Easily a few hundred times. Usually I just smile and say, "Yup." But every now and then out of sheer curiosity I'll take the conversation one more step and ask, "Why does that surprise you?" I've found that the answer to that question is most often this one:

"Because you seem pretty (cool, sane, fun, approachable, easy going, open minded, decent)." 

Those things are all true, BTW. I am all of those things and more. And I'm a minister, too. In a Christian church. The United Church of Christ, to be exact. And I love it. I love being a minister. I love being a part of a church--a community where people sometimes agree and often times don't. I love it that we all get together week after week after week to share life and ask questions and wrestle with answers and wonder what it in the world it means to be fully human and fully holy. I love it that I can ask people what they are going to do with their "one wild and precious life" (thanks, Mary Oliver, for that beautiful image) and challenge them with Dr. Phil's "how's that working for you?" question, too. Because in their searching and reflecting, I get to search and reflect, too. That's the thing: we are in this life together. All of us. Connected. One. We belong to one another because we belong to God. 

And that's why I love the church. It's the best place I know to be reminded of these truths, to be reminded of who we are and to whom we belong, over and over and over again. Without these reminders, we forget. We start to think that life is all about us. And when we think that life is all about us, we lose our sense of compassion. We lose our sense of empathy. We become selfish and mean and generally downright awful people--and that's not good. Not good for us. Not good for our relationships. Not good for the world.

It saddens me to think that there are those in the world who don't associate "cool, sane, fun, approachable, easy going, open minded and decent" with the church. I hope to change that. 

I guess it's time...

The blog is back. After a loooooong hiatus, it's time to start blogging again. You can check out old blog posts about youth ministry, family stuff, and who-knows-what-else on these pages. Along with these topics, I hope to be sharing thoughts on community, the Enneagram, coaching, Integral Life and who-knows-what-else. We'll see what comes up. Suggestions for topics are always welcome. Happy reading.

The Numbers Game

My friend and colleague Molly Hagkull wrote an article for Plymouth's upcoming youth newsletter. I think that this is such a good reminder about what ministry is (and isn't) that I decided to run pieces of her article here. Thanks, Molly, for all you do.

It's not about numbers. There are a lot of results in life measures with numbers: SAT scores, cholesterol, credit scroes, driving tests. Numbers give us something concrete to hold on to. They allow us to make comparisons, set goals, track our progress. It's hard to argue with numbers.

But this is not about numbers.

This past summer, a group of adults met to read a book about high school youth ministry and to discuss its implications for Plymouth. A few big ideas stuck out. First, that youth do not need to be ministered to as much as they need to be doing ministry. Second, that God speaks to us through relationships, and our youth program should be built on relationship-building. And third, that this ministry-doing and relationship-building are not solely in the name of fun, or in the name of community service, but in the name of Jesus Christ...

...It's not about numbers. It's about the transforming power of our still-speaking God. Numbers fail us when trying to measure hearts and souls. If you want to see the results of Plymouth's youth ministry, attend an event. Watch, listen, and witness the Spirit moving in our midst. Then pray. Pray that God would continue to stir hearts, hands, and minds to do God's creative work in, among, and through the youth of Plymouth Church. Amen!

Twas the Night (or weeks) Before Christmas

The Plymouth UCC staff got together last night for our annual Christmas party. There was the usual exchange of silly gifts and a great dinner. There was also a lot of laughter and some downright silliness. There was singing and dancing and storytelling, too. What a great group of people! What a great event! Check out the photos posted in the 'photo' section of the blog.

Merry Christmas!

The Fifth

You can take the fifth, plead the fifth, play a fifth, drink a fifth (not recommended, though), and even listen to Beethoven's Fifth.

You can also read about, change your life because of, improve your relationships, and make the world a better place by using Peter Senge's "Fifth Discipline"--a study on systems change. Although I'd read snippets of the book before, I listened to the first half of the book on my iPod last night while driving to and from my daughter's softball game. I was so engrossed in the book that I almost drove past the exit on the highway--it really is that good.

The basic premise? We are not individuals in this world, working alone, independent, disconnected from others. Everything we do impacts lots of other things and lots of other people. Decisions we make, things we say, actions we take--like the ripple effect in a pond.

That's a very, very, very abbreviated (and not even a complete) snapshot of where the book begins. It then goes on to talk about learning and growing, owning and sharing vision, learning to work together, strengthening trust and relationships, and practice...practice...practice.

Good read. I'll hopefully finish it tonight, on the road to another ballgame.

Out With the Old, In With the New

The transitions are starting: committees and board at Plymouth are wrapping up their year, new members are joining the teams and 'old' members are either retiring from service or becoming new again by joining up with another group. So right now is a time of reflection: what have we done this year? And it's a time for hopes and dreams: what do we hope to do in the next year?

So, in that spirit--where are you? What have you done so far this year? What is it you hope to do the rest of the year?

As for me: I acquired a 'glow' while on sabbatical. That's what I've done so far. I hope to hang on to it, too. Centeredness. Peace. Rooted in faith. Contentment.

Everything else? Just details...

That's what it's all about...

Ministry sometimes feels like doing the hokey-pokey: you put your right foot in, take it back out, put it back in and shake, shake, shake and then you do the hokey-pokey and turn yourself about...and things turn out OK.

That's what happened this weekend. All year long, it has felt like we've been dancing in circles, throwing things in, taking them out, shaking things up...for what? To give kids a home and relationships. To let them know they are loved. To help them grow in faith.

31 8th grade confirmation students joined the church yesterday, professed their faith and took their vows. They spoke about the great two years they've had in confirmation and shared that they want to keep going in high school: small groups, service projects, fun. It was awesome. That was at the first service.

At the second service, the Junior Matins (9th and 10th grade) choir performed their 'home concert'--they led worship in song and story, sharing their feelings about being a part of the choir, about taking their ministry on the road to share with folks in Kansas City, and about what it means to be a part of Plymouth church leading worship each week. Amazing.

"That's what it's all about". Keep dancing!

Confirmation Retreat 2006

Our end-of-the-year confirmation retreat has come and gone...and it was great! Lots of memories. Little sleep. Skits. Worship. Singing. Learning about ourselves. Learning about God. Making decisions whether or not to be confirmed into the church. Laughter. Tears. Late nights around a bonfire. Early mornings overlooking the lake. Friends. Food. Good times.

Check out the photos in the photo album!

Marriage Prep

I have five weddings coming up in the next few months. As a part of pre-marital counseling, I encourage couples to read, "The Hard Questions: 100 Essential Questions to Ask Before You Say 'I Do'" by Susan Piver. If you are married--or thinking about getting married--see how you and your significant other answer these questions. The answers might surprise you!

1. How much money do we earn together? Now? In five years? Who is responsible for which portion? Now? In five years?

2. How much money is in our checking account(s) right now?

3. What kinds of purchases must be jointly decided upon?

4. If one of us doesn't want to work, under what circumstances (if any) would that be OK?

5. When, if ever, do we want to retire? How would we like to spend our time after retirement?

6. Am I affectionate enough with my partner?

7. What if one of us is attracted to someone else?

8. Who is responsible for cooking? Grocery shopping? Cleaning up after cooking?

9. Are each of us happy with the other's approach to health? Does one have habits or tendencies that concern the other (i.e.: smoking, excessive dieting, poor health, etc.)?

10. If we have children, what kind of relationship do we hope our parents will have to their grandchildren? How much time will they spend together?

11. What holidays and events do we feel are important to spend with our family of origin? Do we have special celebration? If so, what is involved and where are celebrations held?

12. Will we have children together?

13. Will we raise our children with any particular religious or spiritual beliefs? If so, how will we do this? Will we give our children a religious education or expect them to participate in religious rituals? What will we teach our children about big issues such as God? Birth? Suffering? Death?

14. Do we share a religion? Do we share a spiritual practice?

15. Will we be buried? Where? If not, what do we want to have happen to our bodies?

Buy the book to read the other 85 questions. It's worth it.