A+ha.

The Numbers Game

My friend and colleague Molly Hagkull wrote an article for Plymouth's upcoming youth newsletter. I think that this is such a good reminder about what ministry is (and isn't) that I decided to run pieces of her article here. Thanks, Molly, for all you do.

It's not about numbers. There are a lot of results in life measures with numbers: SAT scores, cholesterol, credit scroes, driving tests. Numbers give us something concrete to hold on to. They allow us to make comparisons, set goals, track our progress. It's hard to argue with numbers.

But this is not about numbers.

This past summer, a group of adults met to read a book about high school youth ministry and to discuss its implications for Plymouth. A few big ideas stuck out. First, that youth do not need to be ministered to as much as they need to be doing ministry. Second, that God speaks to us through relationships, and our youth program should be built on relationship-building. And third, that this ministry-doing and relationship-building are not solely in the name of fun, or in the name of community service, but in the name of Jesus Christ...

...It's not about numbers. It's about the transforming power of our still-speaking God. Numbers fail us when trying to measure hearts and souls. If you want to see the results of Plymouth's youth ministry, attend an event. Watch, listen, and witness the Spirit moving in our midst. Then pray. Pray that God would continue to stir hearts, hands, and minds to do God's creative work in, among, and through the youth of Plymouth Church. Amen!

Borrowed Material

http://dartmed.dartmouth.edu/winter03/html/vs_connect.shtml

Here is a website for an article about the importance of community, connection, and relationship when raising kids--both for the kids' sake and the parent's.  Dartmouth Medical School ran this article in their alumni magazine "Dartmouth Medicine" a few years ago.

An interesting tidbit from the article: "scientific evidence demonstrates that children are 'hardwired to connect' on a biochemical level, first with their immediate family and then with the broader community. If that connection isn't there, then 'the brain may not develop as it is supposed to...You can't change genes, but you can change how they are translated, and a nurturing environment can make a world of difference."

What we do and say, how we interact with and support one another, is critical. Change happens in the world one relationship at a time.

(thanks, Rich, for sharing these thoughts!)

That's what it's all about...

Ministry sometimes feels like doing the hokey-pokey: you put your right foot in, take it back out, put it back in and shake, shake, shake and then you do the hokey-pokey and turn yourself about...and things turn out OK.

That's what happened this weekend. All year long, it has felt like we've been dancing in circles, throwing things in, taking them out, shaking things up...for what? To give kids a home and relationships. To let them know they are loved. To help them grow in faith.

31 8th grade confirmation students joined the church yesterday, professed their faith and took their vows. They spoke about the great two years they've had in confirmation and shared that they want to keep going in high school: small groups, service projects, fun. It was awesome. That was at the first service.

At the second service, the Junior Matins (9th and 10th grade) choir performed their 'home concert'--they led worship in song and story, sharing their feelings about being a part of the choir, about taking their ministry on the road to share with folks in Kansas City, and about what it means to be a part of Plymouth church leading worship each week. Amazing.

"That's what it's all about". Keep dancing!

Why Youth Ministry?

At Plymouth, we are in the process of ending the program year. As a part of that process, we review what worked well, what didn't, and where we can improve. In reviewing our new youth ministry structure and the direction it is headed, I am drawn to this passage from "The God Bearing Life". We can program and plan and structure our lives away, but without relationship--without practicing the presence of God--it is all for nothing. My hope is that we will continue to provide even more opportunities for youth to just 'be' with other youth and caring adults--that they know and are known by God. In that, they will become active in church programs and projects...but not until they know that someone cares. See what you think:

From "The God-Bearing Life" (p. 140-141):

Sitting with a teenager as she pours out her heart over a love relationship that seemed so right and turned out to be so wrong...hanging out with a couple of youth at Pizza Hut and talking about lots of things, nothing in particular...listening to a sixteen year old boy hesitantly begin to tell the story about his parents' divorce...praying with a sobbing young woman who doesn't feel that anyone likes her anymore...sitting quietly as a young man tired to figure out what God wants him to do with his life...

When we (adults) give others permission to drop their guard and venture cautionsly into the depths of their souls, we are involved in a powerful form of ministry. We may not feel that we are doing anything of value; our compulsvie sides may tempt us to be more productive in our ministries than just sitting and listening and talking. The expectations of parents, church boards, and other staff members feed this tendency toward frenzied activity--the fuller the youth calendar, the more successful our ministry appears to others.

Godbearers need to resist the temptaiton toward numbers and constant motion and take the time to be with youth, to be present with them, knowing that it is enough--maybe even more than enough.

Just to be is a blessing.

Here's the thought for today: "What message have you for young people?" asked Carl Stern of NBC in concluding a television interview with Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel shortly before his death. Rabbi Heschel replied: "...let them remember that there is a meaning beyond absurdity. Let them be sure that every deed counts, that every word has power, and that we all can do our share to redeem the world in spite of all absurdities and all frustrations and all disappointments. And, above all, let them remember...to build a life as if it were a work of art."

Just to be is a blessing. Just to live is holy.

(from The Godbearing Life by Kenda Creasy Dean).

Sick Kids

I've had a sick kid this week. Bailey has been down with a fever, ache-y, grumpy and sleepy (not to mention the other seven dwarfs...). What makes her feel better? Well, having me rub her head or her feet, for sure. Actually, though, having someone else think of her and just say "hi--hope you're feeling better". A phone call from a friend. A teacher writing a quick note along with her homework assignments. Her grandpa calling out of the blue.

Community. Knowing we belong and someone cares. That's what makes all of us feel better. Sitting on the couch watching Beauty and the Beast (just like we did when she was little) got me thinking: isn't this what good youth ministry is? Adults sitting with kids, sharing their thoughts, caring about each other? It's not all about the flashiest programs or having the biggest show in town. Those things fade. It's about adults and kids who care for one another.

Next year I want to do away with youth programs. Instead, I want to hook adults up with kids so that they can get together once or twice a month just to say "Hi--I've been thinking about you." Sure, they can serve at the shelter once in awhile. They can even have contests with other groups to see who can eat the most pizza in fifteen minutes (or some other silly contest). But the most important thing I want to focus on is building relationships--or maintaining relationships started in confirmation.

Bible study? Sure--what about groups talking about last week's sermon. That would be worth something. Topical study? Great--what about groups talking about what is happening in the world or in their schools or in their homes. Fellowship events? Groups can do their own thing (see above) or we can even schedule one or two events at the church (think dodgeball tournament!). Service projects? On their own or as a whole--service should always be what we do to and for each other.

But at the core has to be relationships. Community. Care. Otherwise, it's all about earning points and getting credit. In the long run, I'd want our kids--all of our kids--to enter adulthood knowing that they have a community of faith that cares about them, no matter where they are. They can earn points and get credit anywhere...but relationships...well, relationships are priceless.

Task Force Still Working!

Our 90 minutes together flew by very quickly last night as the task force members worked on "What?"  What do we want to do at Plymouth with youth ministry? What would youth minstry look like if there were no constraints on money, time, location, people-power? What would we do if we could do anything?

The lists filled up quickly--and they're still not complete. The categories of "Mission/Service" and "Education" and, of course, "Fun/Fellowship" were fleshed out with multiple mission trips a year, on-going service in the community and in the church, study sessions on difficult topics (death, dating, substance abuse, etc.), Bible study, lock ins, retreats, concerts and even a big old church bus! (I like the bus idea--kind of like a big Patridge Family thing!).

The group's homework over the next few weeks: to interview as many people as possible and add more to the list of possibilities. When we get together again after Easter, we'll look at the list and start to work on "How?" How do we take this wish list and make it a reality.

I'll keep you posted.

Why Youth Ministry?

Question #1 for the Youth Ministries Task Force: "WHY?"

Why should we have a youth ministry? The members of the YMTF wrestled with this one for a little while and came up with a wide variety of answers: because it teaches kids to be leaders, because we want kids to know they aren't alone, because we want our kids to have Christian values. There were more: we want our kids to be safe, we want to reach out and invite others in, we want kids to have lots of adults in their lives that care about them, we want out kids to meet other kids.

And it all boiled down to this: because it's a faithful response to all God has given us. We need to raise our children in a church family because that is the faithful thing to do. Period.

This Sunday's meeting: "WHAT?" If money were no object, if time were no object, if outreach and schedule conflicts and driving distance and all of the things we let get in the way weren't a problem..."What would youth ministry look like at Plymouth UCC?"

That should be an interesting conversation. How would you answer that question?

Task Force at Work

I've had the "Mission: Impossible" theme running through my head for a week now. As the new Youth Ministries Task Force at Plymouth begins their work together I have two thoughts: 1) This is cool! So much energy, so much enthusiasm, so many ideas. Awesome. 2) Haven't we been here before? Had the same conversations, created ideas that went nowhere, re-configured and tried new things--some of which worked, lots of which didn't?

The answer to #2 is: yup. Been there, done that...but with a different group of people, at a different time and with a different set of experiences, expectations and a different vision. It's important to keep re-visiting the big WHY questions: WHY are we here? WHY do we do youth ministry? WHY is this working? WHY isn't it working?

WHY was the theme of the task force's first meeting. 17 people got together, split into three teams and started wrestling with the main WHY question of the day: WHY do we have a youth minsitry at Plymouth anyway? Lots of answers to that one--probably 50 or more ideas came to mind immediately: to teach about God, to give kids a safe place, to make new friends, etc. It was a great first gathering.

This Sunday's topic: "What?" What do we want to happen here? That's it...just "what". No "how's" or "when's"--those come later. Just dreaming. I can't wait...

Teaching with the Brain in Mind

I'm in San Diego where it has been raining for two days straight. Right now, there are tornado warnings out. It's cold. Not what I had in mind...but that's OK because I'm all wrapped up in learning about the brain!

Yesterday was a day spent learning the basics: make sure people feel safe, have 'buy in', have coherance in their learning, are free to explore and ask questions, receive feedback on their thoughts and ideas, take time off to let their brains process new information and practice, practice, practice.

Today was a little more intense: different types of memory, how to improve learning through these different types, how we alter what we remember (memories are highly malleable) and how "too much, too fast...it won't last" is a great motto for teaching. There are lots of other things, too--shared stories, laughter, rewards(!) and positive reinforcement among other things.

My own brain is overloaded right now with so much new information and so many ideas of how to use this information. My question for the day: what if teaching and preaching were geared to meet people where they are--to reach them they way their brain works? It would take a lot of work--if I believe that this brain based research is true then I need to lead meetings and teach classes and even preach in a different way. That will take time and energy to learn and lots and lots of practice. Is it worth it? Or are things OK 'as is'? That's the million dollar question.

Hmmmm.....crazy stuff.